Kristen|Stats major|Swing dancer|Milk Enthusiast The username says "Kristenacious." Which is like my name and the word tenacious. I am Kristen. Glad we could clear that up.
there is no force of nature that says “come here” like the ocean
get a load of this guy, all romantic and shit. you ever have a tornado rip through your yard? all that motherfucker does is yell “come here” very loudly as it pulls everything in.
I was a professional juggler for like five years and all of my friends politely pretend it never happened.
Sometimes I will be holding three or more similarly sized objects and they will all shoot me the kind of warning glances typically reserved for cats who are about to swipe a fresh and crispy fish stick from a small child’s hand.
I gaze wistfully at a basket of apples and they all think, “Don’t you FUCKING dare,” so hard that I take psychic damage.
Bitch, I FEEL the pain you felt, and it SUCKS - empaths who don’t care if they sound crazy anymore, because they know damn well the person they are talking to is half crazed and probably on drugs, with the way their head is currently spinning and how their limbs feel like limp noodles
Tireless Caregivers have a hard time setting limits, feel guilty when they are not caregiving, and are particularly sensitive to being perceived as selfish, unkind, or unloving.
Bring “nice” and taking care of others is central to their identity and sense of self-worth. TCs are thus very desirable to narcissists, since both partners will wind up agreeing that the narcissist’s needs are the more important ones in the relationship.
How Narcissists Provide “Job Security” for Tireless Caregivers
The downside of this combination of strengths and vulnerabilities is that it makes Tireless Caregivers ripe for attracting self-centered people.
So, why do TCs so often choose to be with, and stay with, self-centered people, instead of finding partners and friends who are just as compassionate and caring as the TCs themselves?
Being with someone who needs a steady stream of validation, attention, and care provides the Tireless Caregiver with a type of “job security”: It ensures the TC will remain needed, and thus have an important role.
Self-absorbed people set the stage for TCs to keep doing those things they do really well.
The self-absorbed are uncannily good at knowing how to displace blame and responsibility onto guilt-prone TCs who readily take on the responsibility.
When one person is the obvious “bad guy” – selfish, unreliable, unfaithful, and so forth — it allows the Tireless Caregiver to remain the “good guy” in comparison.
Familiar relationship patterns are like the well-worn grooves in the road – it takes a lot of energy – at least for a while – to create a new path.
And because the perennially self-absorbed are unmotivated to change (and no one can change another person who is unwilling to do so), the most important thing a TC can do is work on the self.
